As the euphoria of New Years Eve faded, some symptoms unfortunately began to reappear. My dad arranged for a private physiotherapist to come over and I bought a Wii console – complete with balance board. I contacted the Local MS Society and their Support Officer Liz Brown came over to the house and shared her experience of the condition. She also appraised me of local services and I remember commenting that “Those people with MS will surely make the fittest pensioners”.

I didn’t engage with the steady stream of medical letters as they saturated my doormat as I was busy working and looking after my kids. My bladder and fatigue continued to be an issue for me though, as one of those neglected letters states “Tom has increased problems with tiredness. He is now struggling to get out of bed in the morning and he feels exhausted as the day goes on. He is getting up three or four times a night to empty his bladder”. Despite its cautionary tone, I was determined that MS Nurse wasn’t going to slow me down.

I was running less and less with my brother. Instead Elaine and I would take the girls to meet Joe and his young family at the pub. Some four years earlier I had worked very close to that pub and would sometimes run the 10 miles home as part of my marathon training. Not that I neglected my health and fitness now that I’d received my diagnosis; as well as swimming, I went to the gym and went hillwalking.

I was having to taper down my training runs due to my problematic eyes. But despite this though, I was confident that I would get around the course. I was fundraising for the MS Trust and had waved my collection tin around liberally at work. I had individually managed to collect over £800 and I felt that there were many expectant eyes on me. Writing on Facebook at the time, I said “As some of you know I was diagnosed with MS on New Year. After some hospital treatment I’m now doing much better – so much so that I’m competing in the Wilmslow Half Marathon at the end of March! This will be my 5th Wilmslow Half and I think the most significant as I will be running for the MS Trust. I was hoping to raise as much money and awareness as possible for this charity and was hoping for your help.”

Me and my brother, Will and his friend Gooders lined up at the start. Will and Gooders set off at a quick pace but I was convinced that ‘slow and steady wins the race’. With only a mile covered however, my brother noticed that everybody else was overtaking us and we were heading to the back of the field. So disappointed and dejected and with just one mile covered, we slumped to the nearby finish line to admit defeat. To add insult to injury, Joe remembers me toppling over backwards in a nearby field.

I was humiliated as I wrote to my sponsors, informing of my failure. My work colleagues were kind and offered the money up anyway. This didn’t pacify my bruised ego however, as I had decided to sign us up to the Great Manchester 10k in consolation. Again on Facebook I wrote, “Had a good go at the Wilmslow Half but unfortunately had to pull out part way through. Due to MS’s unpredictable nature I was stumbling throughout despite covering the distance in training. Two out of the three of us running for MS finished however, Will and Gooders clocking a time of 1 hr 54 mins! I remain undeterred, now training for the Great Manchester 10k in May.”

I’d taken to running laps of High Crompton park, just beyond the yard at the back of my house. The reasons for this were so that I could stop at any point due to eyes or fatigue – but also importantly, for a wee break as and when required.

I remember that on the last longer training run prior to the 10k, was down the Rochdale Canal from Middleton to Royton. The canal was a favourite of mine – in 2008 I used it as a commuter run from Oldham to Manchester. Now, my eyes were fixed to the towpath to aid balance and avoid disaster.

Joe and I completed what would be my last ever running event, on the 15th May 2011. It was a race punctuated by stops, due to my ‘cloudy’ eyes and dizziness. I started off strongly but was unable  to get around quickly. Happily Joe remembers, “We passed Clint Boon’s DJ stand on Chester Road and thought we’d get round”. Coincidentally at the finish line, we saw Elaine‘s sister and brother-in-law clocking the same time as us – about an hour.

In July, Gill and Steve joined us again for the High Crompton beer walk to celebrate Elaine‘s birthday – Joe and my friend Dan joined the party as Elaine and I dressed up as Lara Croft the Incredible Hulk. We both carried MS Trust tins. The hulk suit was a hindrance to my beer consumption however as Elaine needed to completely unzip me from my suit when I needed the loo!

In August, my symptoms worsened and I started to relapse. So my dad and I crashed into one of Dr Sussman’s clinics at Withington. Now I was given a course of strong oral steroids. As I had only reported a marginal improvement in my symptoms since the Christmas dose, I asked Sussman if there was any prospect of further good news. He answered cautiously, “until a year has passed, there won’t be a complete picture. I think we will simply have to wait-and-see.“

I was prescribed Amitriptyline for the pain in my fingers and the horrible tightness in my chest (which I now know is called, ironically, the MS Hug). I was advised to start gently with this medication then slowly increasing the dosage. I did this and immediately noticed that I was sleeping at night for up to eight hours – a happy side effect. However Elaine remembers my midnight confusion as I got up one night, started running a bath and returned to bed. I woke up again to find water gushing through the kitchen ceiling. I was also starting to feel drowsy at work.

We all travelled to Austria that Summer, for Elaine‘s relatives’ Golden wedding anniversary. Our flight from Manchester was delayed so we missed our connection in Amsterdam. The next flight was the following day so I had to sort out new transfers and accommodation. Seeing that I was struggling to cognise the new arrangements, my eldest daughter Caitlin offered to help out. She now recalls, “I remember that to be the most recent ‘normal time’.“

In Vienna I remember carrying Molly, nearly three now, on my shoulders for a walk around town. I was gazing at the pavement more than at the surroundings as I struggled to hold her. I was upset by this. We then went on to a relatives’ cottage for a family meal. Undeterred, I continued to ‘prove’ myself by swinging her around in the neighbouring fields, playfully.

I attended several Buddhist courses with my friend Antony and in October, we went on a ‘Sangha’ retreat to the Peak District. The theme was Sangharakshita’s ‘System of Practice’. The retreat was an early game-changer for me and was led by senior order members Vidyamala and Sona. I particularly recall Vidyamala leading the Saturday night ‘Puja’ where she dedicated it to a friend who had recently passed away. I was struck by her invocation of the figure called Padmasambhava. 

I was beginning to form a connection with Padmasambhava. A mythical as well as a historical figure, he is especially associated with the ability to help us transform demonic energies into spiritual qualities. Elaine and I attended a Padmasambhava Festival and Puja and as I emerged from the smoky room I felt like I had had a profound experience. I remember saying to her, “it feels like we have just stepped out of a nightclub!“

We had a quiet Christmas in the house this year and went for Christmas dinner in the local pub. It saved on the washing up but nearly bankrupted us!